When we’re not wearing them, we keep our wedding rings in this milk glass dish that Alek’s grandma gave me after learning of my obsession with milk glass. (Sidebar, she gave me this dish after crushing me by saying “Oh my! You wouldn’t BELIEVE how much milk glass I’ve given to the thrift stores over the years!)
ANYWAYS, every time I see our rings in the dish, it makes me smile.
I’ve had quite a few people ask me lately why I wanted to get married again. I’ve given it a lot of thought and boiled it down to this:
After I learned what a happy, healthy relationship looked like, I decided that I wanted a partner. Not a husband, a partner.
To me, this is an important distinction because we’ve created so many gender stereotypes around what a husband should be and what a wife should be and what a corn-fed-two-kids-and-a-minivan-American-marriage should look like.
One of the many things that I have learned from Karen (a.k.a. the hard way) – and that I firmly believe – is that each person in a relationship should be able to stand alone. Each person should have their own thoughts, their own beliefs, their own opinions, their own interests, their own work, their own play, their own friends, their own family. And, it is each individual’s responsibility to cultivate their own lives.
I don’t want to be completely lost in another person, wandering around comfortably numb, ever again.
I DO want a PARTNER. Someone who I can SHARE my life with. Someone who loves ME truly, madly, deeply. Someone who can SUPPORT me and help me ACHIEVE things that are just not possible on my own. Someone who AMPLIFIES my world. Someone who turns my life into a movie. Someone who makes my days brighter, my food taste better, my chores less taxing, my laughs more deeply felt.
And that’s the thing. My life is great. Alek’s life is great. And we’re BOTH better together.
Kind of like chocolate and peanut butter, except way more awesome.