Last year on the Ragnar I got 15 minutes of sleep. When you get 15 minutes of sleep two things happen, (1) you get a bit punchy, (2) you forget stuff.
At our after Ragnar celebration dinner, we were exchanging stories and everyone from Van 1 was talking about my Cousin Taylor’s break-up lines. They’re like bad pick-up lines, but used to break up with someone. I mean what could be easier than a one line break-up conversation? Right? Taylor had made these up in a late night Ragnar stroke of genius. (Oh, the things you dream up when you’re crammed into the back of a truck with six people after running 15 miles and drinking copious amounts of Gatorade.)
15-minutes-of-sleep-Natalie had laughed so so hard at these break-up lines. But no matter how hard I tried to recount them to others, 15-minutes-of-sleep-Natalie had failed to remember any of them.
And then, in our mad-libs box at the wedding I found a little present from Taylor.
And, even with more than 15 minutes of sleep, these were still pretty damn funny.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after 3 months?!
Break-Up Lines by Taylor
1. Is it hot in here? Or are you smothering me in this relationship?
2. Are you being followed? Because I’m seeing other people behind your back!
3. I feel 3 pounds lighter whenever I’m near you…probably because you bore the s*** out of me.
4. Are there any critically acclaimed movies called “Other People?” Because I REALLY want to see them.
5. Do angels normally fly this close to the ground? Or has this angel put on some weight since we started dating?