Snot Rainbow

For the next little while, I will probably be blogging about our wedding day. Our wedding day was PERFECTION. Our wedding day was BLISS. From the time that I woke up until the time that I fell asleep, it was utter contentment, happiness, beauty, and BIG.WILD.RIDICULOUS.LOVE. From Alek, from my parents, from my family, from my friends, from random people on the street, from the universe.  

LOVE. 

I’ll tell you right now, it’s going to be smarmy and sappy and sweet and there will be tears of happiness and that’s just how it is because it was the BEST.DAY.EVER.

Wait. 

OK, well, there were a FEW things that weren’t perfect. I think I should acknowledge those at the beginning and just get it out of the way so we can move on with the bliss. I have to say, of all of the bad things that could have possibly happened around the wedding, nothing really and truly bad happened. No one was hurt. No one fought. No one got too drunk. No one had a wardrobe malfunction. All and all, pretty drama free. Also, I didn’t know about any of this until after the wedding. So Saturday remains blemish free.

Still:

My Mom started passing a kidney stone on Saturday.  I really and truly believe that she willed it away until the wedding was over and Future Boy’s baby blessing (the Mormon equivalent to a Bris Ceremony) was over on Sunday. But she has been quite sick the last couple of days.

My reaction: Awwwww!!! MOM!!! This is awful. We’ve driven her to this sickness, us children, with all of our psychotic demands and we owe her BIG TIME. (Let’s make 75 bags of white chocolate popcorn!! Let’s have a huge party at your house on Friday!! Let’s have a wedding on Saturday!!! Let’s have another huge party at your house on Sunday!! Oh, and take care of my dog while you’re at it!!)

Lucy cut her chest open. This required a trip to the doggie ER and 10 staples on Monday. No one has any idea how this happened.

My reaction: Awwwww!!! LUCY!!! I’m sure it had nothing to do with me being basically abandoning you, blind, in a house full of people and parties (see above). Alright, I know it had everything to do with that.

Someone stole $650 out of my wallet, $200 out of the venue manager’s wallet, and our wedding planner’s designer jeans AT THE WEDDING.

My reaction: 
1. Are you @#$%^-ing kidding me?
2. I’m glad I didn’t open my wallet until Sunday morning. 
3. Oh well, it’s only money. 
4. If criminals applied this level of creativity and energy to something productive, who knows what a better place the world would be.

Three people flat out didn’t show up to the wedding. We had a few people that told us that they couldn’t be there, but these three just flat out didn’t show up.

My reaction: That’s lame. And rude. Mostly lame.

Right after the ceremony, Alek and I found ourselves alone outside. In a sort of post-you-may-kiss-the-bride-haze. We started hugging and kissing and crying and kissing and hugging and crying and telling each other “I love you!” “I love you!” Our faces were all mashed together and as we parted, a snot rainbow formed between our noses. Well, it was more of a “u” shape, but it was snot, nonetheless. And then we started laughing. And then we looked over…and saw the videographer standing there.


My reaction: “Please tell me you got that on tape!”

3 responses to Snot Rainbow

  1. Kim

    I hate when you write a big long comment, then read it, and it sounds lame.
    Can’t wait to hear more about the wedding day and all the adventures that led up to it. Some day I will have to tell you about the dream I had on the eve of your wedding. Alek was there…..and you were on the phone with me….and the Disney Main Street Electrical Parade was there too….serious.
    Hope your mom is doing better, and Lucy. Sorry about the thief at your wedding. That seriously is terrible! I have heard of wedding crashers, but wedding thieves!

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