Alek and I decided to write our own wedding vows. I did a lot of research in preparation for this most important wedding task. And by research, I mean I Google’d “Wedding Vows.” (Sidebar: there are a lot, shall we say “interesting” wedding vows out there. Like, if you want to get married in the Elvish or Klingon traditions, someone has already done the legwork on that for you. Thanks Interwebs!!)
In the end I found this really great article in Martha Stewart Weddings Magazine that was my inspiration. (Sidebar: Martha Stewart Weddings is hands down, the best bridal magazine. Don’t even bother with anything else, really.) The article said to make sure that if you write your own vows, you don’t just make a declaration of your love to each other – your vows should be a PROMISE that you make to each other.
With this in mind, Alek and I brainstormed our ideas (I love a good brainstorm, don’t you?) and had a lovely dinner with Karen to discuss what we had put together, since a lot of these promises are centered in her wisdom. I think a lot of these promises are also centered in not repeating our pasts and in not losing what we have built together over the last three years.
When you consider that this is the single most important part of a wedding, writing your own vows can seem like a daunting task. But this process was really easy. And really fun. And sparked some beautiful conversations about who we are right now, who we want to be and what we never want to let go of.
My promise to you is to always be myself, to speak my truth and to let you speak yours too. I promise to always follow my bliss, to cultivate my own life and to let you cultivate yours.
I promise to always have an open mind and an open heart, to be willing to try new things, and to always seek ways to learn and to grow.
I promise to be your biggest supporter and your loudest cheerleader. We are a team and we stand by each other. I promise to work hard for our team and to take care of you, your heart and your soul, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
I promise to treat you with courtesy and respect. I promise that we can talk about anything, anytime, anywhere. Life is a conversation. There is no need for yelling and there is no need for silence. I promise to always observe the 24-hour rule. I will seek to understand your perspective and I will not harbor bad feelings or hold grudges.
I promise to keep it simple and if I don’t, I promise it’s OK for you to tell me that I need to simplify, because sometimes (a lot of times, actually) I need to be put in check.
I promise to love you with my whole heart and I promise to like you with my whole heart too. I promise that we will have fun, no matter where we go or what we do. I promise to smile when you walk in the door, to hold your hand while we walk down the street and to kiss you before we fall asleep.
I know that God is love and what we have is special and I promise to never take it for granted.