Karen has some great advice on fighting (the right way to have a dialogue, how to communicate, etc.), which I will definitely share, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how Alek and I “fight” and how much I appreciate the 5 Ground Rules for Fighting that we set up when we first met.
I vividly remember when we created these Ground Rules. It was the first night that I was officially living in the Chocolate Loft. We had just left Sunday dinner with my family and we were driving downtown. And I don’t know how the conversation started, but we started telling our sordid tales of fights past.
And at the time the conversation was pretty light hearted, like “Oh yeah? Well, get a load of THIS ONE.” We thought it was funny. Sad, but funny. At the same time, we had just barely met and I think we were both a little hesitant like “Well, you SEEM cool right now, but you could still turn out to be a total whack job.”
And we both seemed to be thinking the same thing…. so we decided right then and there, whether we turned out to be total whack jobs or not, that we were.not.going.to.put.up.with.any.of.that.shit.ever.again.
Ten minutes later we had established the 5 Rules of Fighting and we’ve never looked back.